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Metal Subtypes!

Rasprava u 'Glazba' pokrenuta od Black_Raven, 31. Siječanj 2007..

  1. Black_Raven

    Black_Raven drevni hejter

    Suppose that this situation is taking place: “ In the top of a Castle there is a beautiful princess which is guarded by a terrible, gigantic dragon” This is how the situation would unfold according to each different style:

    Power Metal:
    The protagonist arrives to the castle in a winged white horse, runs away from the dragon, saves the princess and the two of them go somewhere far away to make love.
    True Metal:
    The protagonist arrives to the castle and using his sword defeats the dragon in battle. Thereafter he does the princess while being soaked in the dragon’s blood.
    Thrash Metal:
    The protagonist arrives to the castle, fights the dragon, saves the princess and f♥♥ks her.
    Heavy Metal:
    The protagonist arrives to the Castle in a Harley Davidson, he kills the dragon, drinks a couple beers with the princess and then they have sex.
    Folk Metal:
    The protagonist arrives with several friends playing the acordeon, laud, violin and other strange instruments. The dragon falls asleep from dancing too much, and then they leave…without the princess.
    Viking Metal:
    The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with an axe, cooks him and eats him, rapes the princess, loots the castle and lights everything in fire before leaving.
    Death Metal:
    The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, f♥♥ks the princess, kills her, and leaves.
    Black Metal:
    He comes at dawn, amidst the fog, kills the dragon and empales it in front of the castle, Sodomizes the princess, cuts her with a dagger and drinks her blood in a satanic ritual before killing her. Upon discovering that she wasn’t a virgin, he impales her along with the dragon.
    Grindcore:
    He arrives, slays the dragon, goes up the castle, f♥♥ks the princess and kills her. Thereafter he f♥♥ks her again. Burns up the princess’ body and f♥♥ks her once more.
    Doom Metal:
    He arrives to the castle, sees the size of the dragon, gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his corps and then eats the princess.
    Nu Metal:
    He arrives to the castle, brags about how good he is fighting and says he can beat the dragon. He is defeated miserably and is left like crap. While fleeing he finds the princess and tells her everything about his tragic childhood; the princess slaps his face and goes out to look for the heavy metal fellow. The “Nu” dude takes a prozac and goes off to record a “the best of” record.
    Classic Rock N’Roll:
    He arrives in a motorcycle smoking a joint, he offers it to the dragon which turned out to be a good friend. Thereafter, he camps out in the most secluded place of the garden with the princess and after a lot of sex, drugs and rock n’roll has an o.d of LSD and dies choked in his own vomit.
    Punk:
    He throws a rock at the dragon and flees. Then he paints an anarchist “a” on one the castle walls, he gives the princess a Mohican hair cut, and opens a comic-book berth on of the castle’s passages.
    Hardcore:
    He arrives all flashy doing stunts on his skateboard, but in the entrance of the castle the bouncer asks him for his ID and is thus left out for being underage. In resignation he retreats flashing off again, saying that the princess was too much of a preppie for an alternative dude such as himself.
    Progressive Metal:
    He arrives, plays a virtuous 26 minute guitar solo and the dragon kills himself due to boredom. He arrives to where the princess is and plays another solo exploring all the tone and compass techniques he learnt in the last year in the conservatory. The princess flees looking after the Heavy Metal dude.
    Hard Rock:
    He arrives at the castle in a red convertible alongside two big-breasted blondes and drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels. Then he kills the dragon with a knife and has an orgy with the princess and the blondes.
    Gothic Metal:
    The protagonist arrives wearing the latest trends in night’s clothing of the Camelot court, but he is not sure whether he wants to face the dragon or not, or whether he likes princesses, and amongst such uncertainty stays bedazzled with the first flower that he finds in the castle, only to die sickened a short time after.
    Glam
    He arrives at the castle, the dragon is laughing so hard at his attire that he lets him go through, he walks inside the castle, steals the princess’ lipstick and hair lacquer and then convinces the dragon of painting the castle pink and of doing himself some highlights in the hair.

    :lol:

    da, znam da je prastaro, ali je svejedno rofl :yeah:
     
  2. Psychotic

    Psychotic Duck Mutant

    oldie but goldie
     
  3. Dabrorius

    Dabrorius Novi Član

    ovo je neka prosirena verzija, ona prva mi je bila bolja
     
  4. LugarSivi

    LugarSivi Aktivan Član

    zato sto ti je bila prva :nice:
     
    Posljednje uređivanje od moderatora: 19. Travanj 2015.
  5. Ivanhoe

    Ivanhoe Dr. Disco

    za power su bogohulno izostavili... they went -->to enchanted forest
     
  6. Exxar

    Exxar Fantasy-Hr Urednik

    Swar, swar, nikako da naucis... to the enchanted forest of elves :nice:
     
    Posljednje uređivanje od moderatora: 19. Travanj 2015.
  7. ich voljeti metal... heavy, thrash, POWER!!! :w00t:
     
  8. Ivanhoe

    Ivanhoe Dr. Disco

    Ok tak je lijepo počelo i onda ovo na kraju. -_-
     
  9. Psychaki

    Psychaki Gost

    pa nije tako loša jednadžba

    heavy trash = power

    ^^
    :omg:
     
  10. Kathegar

    Kathegar =I=

    nije trash nego thrash :wtf: duuuuh :omg:
     
  11. Psychaki

    Psychaki Gost

    ok 2heavy trash = power + H2
     
  12. Taliesin

    Taliesin Aktivan Član

    Ok tak je lijepo počelo i onda ovo na kraju. -_-

    but wait, it keeps getting better and better

    nije trash nego thrash :mmm: duuuuh :laugh:

    -.-
     
  13. a nemojte tako.. kaj fali power mwtalu, ljude inspiriraju razlicite stvari... mislim da je to u redu... i kaj je ovo na kraju sa thrash? don't get it :unsure:
    jedino sto me brine u svemu tome je death metal... to mi stvarno nije jasno.. :book:
     
  14. Ivanhoe

    Ivanhoe Dr. Disco

    Pa to i je poanta death metala, besmisao, kaos i apstraktnost. :D

    Osim onih pederskih dethova iz finske. Njima je poanta da klinke svršavaju na njihov gothic imiđ.
     
  15. ma daj, bullshit... to j efakat smece
    :lol:
     
  16. Ivanhoe

    Ivanhoe Dr. Disco

    Nono nećemo o tome tako, napravi si svoj bend pa svirajte nešto bolje. Ako ti se stil ne sviđa nije smeće samo nisi otvorena dovoljno za njega.
     
  17. Leviathan

    Leviathan Aktivan Član

    me love metal, progresive :lol: Marilyn Manson :lol:
     
  18. abominacije

    abominacije (/:=D

    ma nash voljeni merlin je tehnjava. imho. a imho je odista imho jer sam metalni newbie.

    no, ono chime mogu doprinjeti raspravi jest:

    thrash = eng. rijech koja znachi, citiram oxford advanced learners dictionary (a.k.a. my preciousss :lol:): 'verb,
    1. to hit a person or an animal many times with a stick, etc. as a punishment.
    2. to move or shake sth move in a violent or uncontrolled way
    3. to defeat somebody easily in a game

    dodushe izostavio sam dosta primjera i struchnih analiza iz originalnog teksta no uzet chu ono najbitnije za raspravu. shto je, razumljivo, znachenje pod brojem 2. s obzirom na ritam dotichnog podzhanra metala.

    sada je ochita razlika izmedju thrasha i trasha.

    s time da trash = nezheljeni predmet. iako, ne da mi se sada ulaziti u raspravu o samom trashu kao umjetnosti (:lol:), poshto je ovdje sasvim nebitan.
     
  19. Klosharr

    Klosharr The Wild Rover

    go brain, go brain :lol:
     
  20. Vorpatril

    Vorpatril Novi Član

    "winged white horse"?????

    zar nije unicorn? :lol:

    i jel postoji metal u kojem tip trampi djevojku za masnu lovu? :lol:

    power rulz! :lol:
     

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